Husband’s Church

I saw a FB post yesterday, it asked, would you join your mate’s church to make them happy? Most of the ladies answered, “No.” Part of me wondered, if they really thought about their answer or just gave a quick “no.” I believe a couple should have this discussion before they are married. To me, this decision is more important than any financial issues. Your church home is where you are spiritually feed, worship the Lord & build a foundation for your spiritual life and family. I believe there should be unity in this area. I stand by the fact that couples should be equally yoked spiritually. It balances the relationship when you can praise, worship, fellowship & learn the word with your spouse.

When Charles & I started dating we were attending different churches. Once we knew that we would get married, we discussed our church situation. At the beginning we tried to alternate the church we would visit each week. This become very hard to do because the pastors would preach a series of sermons and we would miss a part of the message. Our churches were different in a few ways. My church was Church of God & his was Non-Denomination. My church was a medium size church. His looked like a concert hall. I felt like it was no way that his large church could feel like a home. My pastors, elders and leaders knew everyone’s name at Community. It was a close knit family. I didn’t feel that at his church. It was all so different and overwhelming. I really wanted to run back to my church, even if it was by myself. So I understand the ladies hesitation to joining their mate’s church.

I prayed about it & I felt like God was telling me to follow my husband’s lead. I was also hearing from the elders of Community Church of God, that joining my husband’s church was the right thing to do. It would create unity in our marriage & strengthen the foundation of our blended family. I finally decided to join his church because it felt like the right fit for our family. I feel like I am not just being obedient to Jesus but I am also being obedient to my husband as well. (Ladies, we can have a discussion about the dreaded “O” word later.) Charles wanted us to attend the same church. Our children were forming friendships at church. The bouncing back and forth was confusing them. Attending 2 churches was just too difficult for our family.

It has now been over 2 years since I joined Victory. Once I gave our church a chance, I know it was the right decision for my entire family. I look at my husband and he is happy that we are members of the same church. I am happy, also. Pastor Dennis doesn’t know me by name but I have been able to speak to him and he has advised me on very important issues concerning my family. I do feel a sense of family at Victory World Church. I have connected with people and made friendships that I really need in my life. The resources for marriages and raising a blended family at church are amazing. The most important factor is that I feel the Holy Spirit in that huge building. My family is getting fed a thought provoking, Bible based good word. Charles and I are equally yoked, even when we backslide, we do it together. ☺️

What worked for my marriage & family may not work for yours but the most important part of what I am saying is HAVE THE DISCUSSION. Please don’t just give a final, line in the sand answer of “no.”

Worshiping with your spouse is like nothing else you can ever experience. When you are both being moved by the Holy Spirit and acknowledging the power of Jesus Christ, TOGETHER, that feeling cannot be beat. Plus, it gives you a good start to have conversations together. You can talk about your experiences during worship and what you learned from the message. Church is more than the building. It is more than a Sunday visit or in our case a Saturday visit to a gathering. It should be the catalyst to intensify your relationship with the Lord. Shouldn’t you share that experience with the most important human in your life, your spouse?

Love Ya

Shelley Wesley

Not Listening

Pounding my head into the pillow…..I hear You, Lord.

I am not listening to You, so You are showing me how it feels. It is nerve wrecking to tell someone something and to have to constantly repeat yourself. I am blessed to have a Father that doesn’t get feed up and tired of it, like I do. Thank you, Jesus for reminding me of my issues. You are so patient and kind with me. I have to do better with the people around me and in my life.

Blood Clot

I haven’t spoken to my Mother in a few months. We are both stubborn. I have been praying for my relationship with my Mom to get better. God always makes a way. I just wish it wasn’t this way. It is 4:30 in the morning & I am wide awake, sitting in a hospital room. I have to start listening better. God has to do some drastic things for me to actually see or listen to Him. I have to do better.

My Mom has a blood clot in her lungs. I am doing my very best to be positive and truly believe God’s hands are on my mother. I know she will be healed. The little girl, inside of me, is terrified. She is having trouble going to sleep now. I have silently prayed and prayed over her out loud.

I don’t know how to put this into words without sounding like I do not trust God but I haven’t had enough time with my Mom. I need her to be healed. I need her to walk out of this hospital and for us to have a better relationship. I am trusting in You Lord and expecting You to heal her in the name of Jesus.

I am not ready to say goodbye to my Mom.

Shelley Wesley


Pastor Johnson Bowie’s (Pastor of Victory World Church, Hamilton Mill) message on Saturday, hit home. It was about the crazy love of God. He touched on so many points that I needed to hear. Pastor’s sermon reminded me why my relationship with God fall apart, again. Why I broke up with Jesus? Also, why the relationship is still not repaired, after 2 years of believing I was trying to place God 1st in my life. I was still trying to be in control, instead of turning the reins over to God. His message piggybacked on a FB Live that I watched this week from Pastor Mike, Lady Felecia, & Allyson (Community Church of God, Atlanta). Their conversation was about forgiveness. During their FB Live, I was reminded that I was still mad at God for allowing so many bad things to happen to me. I was angry about my test, trials & tribulations. This is crazy because I know those things are allowed for us to learn from them, not to hurt us or discipline us. I allowed the anger & pain to overrule me. I have asked the Lord for forgiveness for being angry at Him. I additionally have forgiven myself for falling into the devil’s trap of anger & unforgivingness. I am now in the process of correcting my behavior, reconstructing my thought process and not allowing my flesh to control me.

I feel like improving how I handle my emotions will help me out, a lot. I tend to be a VERY emotion driven person. That has to change. Once I stop allowing my emotions to control me, my life will change for the better, not just for me but for my entire family. I am looking forward to being able to manage my level of offense, governing rather I allow someone to offend me or not. This may seem ridiculous to some but it is actually a challenge for me not to be offended. I allow myself to get insulted too easily. My level of clarity & discernment will increase. I will recognize that I have the power to be able to defend myself from the attacks or ignore the attacks, completely. It is my responsibility to choose how I respond to others. I do not have to respond to everyone or everything. I am going to decide the amount of power I give to others. I have made the decision not to give ANY power to people who are working against me or my family. I know controlling my emotions will help me with my relationships with my family & friends. With my discernment, I will be able to see who the true enemy is in my life.

These changes are going against what my flesh is telling me to do. However, I know they are needed because I am tired of being an angry person. I am determined to stop taking everything so personally. Anger may not shorten your life but it decreases your chances of experiencing God’s true joy in your life. I enjoy living a life filled with joy & happiness. That doesn’t come easily when you are mad all the time.

Shelley Wesley

Morning Guilt

It has been said in every church I have ever attended, you have to wake up and give your 1st moments of the day to God.

I am guilty of not doing this all the time. It has become difficult these past couple of years. I have been dealing with flare ups from Fibromyalgia. I never know if I am going to wake up in pain or not. I have allowed my pain level to decide what my mood is going to be for the day. This practice has led me to thinking about my aches & pains, instead of praying & reading my Bible or devotionals.

This week I have started to be intentional with waking up and talking to God. BUT! I have to stop picking up my phone 1st & checking the time. Once I pick the phone up, I see my notifications & go check my emails and whatever else is staring at me. I know I am not the only one that does this…. Lol. I have to do better. I am a work in progress but at least I am on the right path, again.

I know from experience when I talk to God 1st and read & share the word, my day is just better all around. I have to stop being distracted by the world. I have to dig in deeper.

Love ya,

Shelley Wesley


The greatest influencer of this world is Jesus Christ and we are His children. How are we using our influence?

Are we using our influence to follow God’s word or to follow social media? Are we more concerned about creating our own followers or followers of Jesus?

So many questions…..

What are your answers?