I saw a FB post yesterday, it asked, would you join your mate’s church to make them happy? Most of the ladies answered, “No.” Part of me wondered, if they really thought about their answer or just gave a quick “no.” I believe a couple should have this discussion before they are married. To me, this decision is more important than any financial issues. Your church home is where you are spiritually feed, worship the Lord & build a foundation for your spiritual life and family. I believe there should be unity in this area. I stand by the fact that couples should be equally yoked spiritually. It balances the relationship when you can praise, worship, fellowship & learn the word with your spouse.
When Charles & I started dating we were attending different churches. Once we knew that we would get married, we discussed our church situation. At the beginning we tried to alternate the church we would visit each week. This become very hard to do because the pastors would preach a series of sermons and we would miss a part of the message. Our churches were different in a few ways. My church was Church of God & his was Non-Denomination. My church was a medium size church. His looked like a concert hall. I felt like it was no way that his large church could feel like a home. My pastors, elders and leaders knew everyone’s name at Community. It was a close knit family. I didn’t feel that at his church. It was all so different and overwhelming. I really wanted to run back to my church, even if it was by myself. So I understand the ladies hesitation to joining their mate’s church.
I prayed about it & I felt like God was telling me to follow my husband’s lead. I was also hearing from the elders of Community Church of God, that joining my husband’s church was the right thing to do. It would create unity in our marriage & strengthen the foundation of our blended family. I finally decided to join his church because it felt like the right fit for our family. I feel like I am not just being obedient to Jesus but I am also being obedient to my husband as well. (Ladies, we can have a discussion about the dreaded “O” word later.) Charles wanted us to attend the same church. Our children were forming friendships at church. The bouncing back and forth was confusing them. Attending 2 churches was just too difficult for our family.
It has now been over 2 years since I joined Victory. Once I gave our church a chance, I know it was the right decision for my entire family. I look at my husband and he is happy that we are members of the same church. I am happy, also. Pastor Dennis doesn’t know me by name but I have been able to speak to him and he has advised me on very important issues concerning my family. I do feel a sense of family at Victory World Church. I have connected with people and made friendships that I really need in my life. The resources for marriages and raising a blended family at church are amazing. The most important factor is that I feel the Holy Spirit in that huge building. My family is getting fed a thought provoking, Bible based good word. Charles and I are equally yoked, even when we backslide, we do it together. ☺️
What worked for my marriage & family may not work for yours but the most important part of what I am saying is HAVE THE DISCUSSION. Please don’t just give a final, line in the sand answer of “no.”
Worshiping with your spouse is like nothing else you can ever experience. When you are both being moved by the Holy Spirit and acknowledging the power of Jesus Christ, TOGETHER, that feeling cannot be beat. Plus, it gives you a good start to have conversations together. You can talk about your experiences during worship and what you learned from the message. Church is more than the building. It is more than a Sunday visit or in our case a Saturday visit to a gathering. It should be the catalyst to intensify your relationship with the Lord. Shouldn’t you share that experience with the most important human in your life, your spouse?
Love Ya
Shelley Wesley
