I am surrounded by people who have been hurt by some type of rejection. Parental and spousal rejection has affected most of the people in my life. Many of these people have pushed through the emotional trauma that was caused by the people that rejected them. However, have they really been healed from the rejection? Are they carrying around guilt and shame from being rejected by people they trusted? Can you be healed and still not be able to see your value? If you have not been fully healed, you can create life patterns that will possible be passed down to their children and other generations to come. I believe in generational curses. I also believe that these curses can be cancelled out. We just have to reach out to God and request that He cancel out the curses and show us what we need to do to help in the process.
I have started a self examination season this Summer. I am looking to heal some of my anger issues that I am still carrying around. I realize this is not going to be an easy task. I am going to have to put a lot of work in to dig deep into my mind and soul to discover the reasons why I am so angry. I believe I can be healed from the trauma that created the anger. Once I am healed from the trauma, I know my anger will subside. I have created a support team that includes my husband, our therapist and a few really good books that touch on healing from rejection and other issues that created some of my emotional trauma.
I am determined to receive the emotional healing that God has blessed me with. So many of us have received our healing, we just haven’t done the work necessary to open our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls to accept our healing. I have made a promise to myself that the curse of anger will not continue to be passed down to my children. I am certain that even though my kids are older, they will see the change in me and want that change for themselves as well. I have prayed for the change and I recognize this change is inline with God’s will. I am certain he will answer my prayer. I look forward to reacting in a different manner when something irks me.
I woke up to a migraine this morning. I have too many things to do. I cannot deal with this. One dark room, some medicine, & a cup of ginger turmeric tea. I pray this takes the pain away.
Fibromyalgia intensifies my pain. It always hurts or pinches a little harder. People don’t understand why I am put down by a simple migraine. Fibromyalgia makes the pains that would normally feel like a 10 for a regular person, feel like a 15 or a 20 for me. My nervous system is so heightened that when it senses pain, it goes crazy. I can feel the pain in multiple areas of my body not just the initial area that was hurting. The pain is in my head but it radiates to my lower extremities. I feel pinching and pulling in my arms, my legs and my feet. My hair actually feels like it hurts.
I am judged for so many things, like I am the weakest link of the world. It really bothers me so much sometimes. I am a very hard worker. I am known for my work ethic from former coworkers. I feel like a failure because I cannot deal with pain like other people. I know the stress from that isn’t helping me any. I need to learn not to stop allowing other people’s opinions about me to bother me. It is so hard to deal with people when they do not believe you about your condition. It hurts my heart that people who I love or once loved would believe I was lying or stretching the truth. Please believe, I want to be a normal healthy person that could build a piece of furniture from Ikea for her son & not be put down for the next day. That just isn’t my truth right now. It sucks!!!
I am supposed to be enjoying my life with my husband. I am supposed to be teaching and helping my kids. I want a pain free life. I have been told sugar isn’t helping my condition. I have been eating sugar or products with sugar in it, all of my life. I am addicted to sugar.
My husband was taking an ethics test for his job. He was discussing the different classifications that were explained in the video, Cis & Trans genders. I questioned why we needed so many classifications. I am so annoyed by the fact that the world needs so many labels for humans. My son believes these classifications/labels are needed. He thinks that it helps people to know who you are, I don’t believe that. I believe it is more of a way to separate & divide us as Humans.
We are told in the Bible that we are made in God’s image. We are told so many times and ways in church that we should put God 1st in our life. However, we do not do that. We tend to put our race, culture, religion, sexual orientation before God. We label ourselves so many titles before we state we are children of God.
I used to concern myself with being able to check a box labeled “Mixed.” It ate me up inside to have to check “Other.” This label is actually the closet to the truth. I am Other. I am other than the norm in this world. I am a child of God. He is my 1st love. He was there when no one else was & He will be here for me forever. Why do we classify ourselves as anything else other than children of God?