Pastor Johnson Bowie’s (Pastor of Victory World Church, Hamilton Mill) message on Saturday, hit home. It was about the crazy love of God. He touched on so many points that I needed to hear. Pastor’s sermon reminded me why my relationship with God fall apart, again. Why I broke up with Jesus? Also, why the relationship is still not repaired, after 2 years of believing I was trying to place God 1st in my life. I was still trying to be in control, instead of turning the reins over to God. His message piggybacked on a FB Live that I watched this week from Pastor Mike, Lady Felecia, & Allyson (Community Church of God, Atlanta). Their conversation was about forgiveness. During their FB Live, I was reminded that I was still mad at God for allowing so many bad things to happen to me. I was angry about my test, trials & tribulations. This is crazy because I know those things are allowed for us to learn from them, not to hurt us or discipline us. I allowed the anger & pain to overrule me. I have asked the Lord for forgiveness for being angry at Him. I additionally have forgiven myself for falling into the devil’s trap of anger & unforgivingness. I am now in the process of correcting my behavior, reconstructing my thought process and not allowing my flesh to control me.

I feel like improving how I handle my emotions will help me out, a lot. I tend to be a VERY emotion driven person. That has to change. Once I stop allowing my emotions to control me, my life will change for the better, not just for me but for my entire family. I am looking forward to being able to manage my level of offense, governing rather I allow someone to offend me or not. This may seem ridiculous to some but it is actually a challenge for me not to be offended. I allow myself to get insulted too easily. My level of clarity & discernment will increase. I will recognize that I have the power to be able to defend myself from the attacks or ignore the attacks, completely. It is my responsibility to choose how I respond to others. I do not have to respond to everyone or everything. I am going to decide the amount of power I give to others. I have made the decision not to give ANY power to people who are working against me or my family. I know controlling my emotions will help me with my relationships with my family & friends. With my discernment, I will be able to see who the true enemy is in my life.

These changes are going against what my flesh is telling me to do. However, I know they are needed because I am tired of being an angry person. I am determined to stop taking everything so personally. Anger may not shorten your life but it decreases your chances of experiencing God’s true joy in your life. I enjoy living a life filled with joy & happiness. That doesn’t come easily when you are mad all the time.

Shelley Wesley

Author: myspiritualjourney

This is my journey to strengthening my relationship with Jesus Christ & to discover the true purpose of my life. According to my Mother, I have always been a spiritual person. However, when I look back in my life, I didn’t follow God’s word. A few years ago, I had an eye opening experience that lead me on this path to grow closer to Jesus. During this time, I went through a traumatic divorce. I felt like I lost the respect of my son & daughter. I lost my career. I lost most of my materialistic, worldly items. BUT GOD! I didn’t lose Jesus. I actually found Him. I found the person that had always been there for me. In the past 5 years, I have been healed from so many things when I gave my life to Jesus. He blessed me with a husband I never thought I would deserve. My kids tell & show me that the love & respect me. I was giving the responsibility of helping raise 2 beautiful daughters. Plus, I was blessed in so many other ways, as well. In the midst of my blessings, I have been tested & attacked. These things have weakened & distracted me from my relationship with Christ. I have been backsliding in my relationship with God, almost to the point of being double minded. For 3 years I have heard that I must write. This confused me so much because I did/do not know what to write. So I put it off, I procrastinated, I just ignored what I heard from God. I would create FB pages & write what I believed He wanted me to write but it still didn’t feel like I was listening to God. This blog feels right. I have prayed about it. I have given it to God. So we will see what He allows me to share on this journey. Enjoy my journey with me!!!

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