I wasn’t alright around 3:50 this morning. My allergies have been a little crazy this week. When I went to sleep, I had a tickle in my throat. I woke up to use the restroom and the tickle was still there. Anxiety tried to step in. It gets pretty rough sometimes. I am dealing with restless leg syndrome. That is like my feet will not stop moving. With that and the throat, I started losing it a little bit.
I made a timely mistake. I gave my symptoms more attention than they deserved. I started googling about corona and my throat. I took some elderberry syrup and then gargled with peroxide. I tried to go to sleep but I just couldn’t. My mind wouldn’t calm down. My feet wouldn’t stop moving. I started praying. I started crying and asking Jesus to help me go to sleep. I wanted to be at peace. I opened my Bible app and read one of my plans that I am reading at the moment. I was given this scripture, cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. I started repeating to myself, I cast all my anxieties to you Father. I am healthy and I am healed. I was able to go to sleep. When I woke up this morning, the tickle is gone.
Our minds can be our worse enemy sometimes. Not going to the Lord first was my mistake but when I did, He took care of all of my worries. We are allowed these little slip ups but they shouldn’t become our everyday. Jesus wants us to come to Him first. He wants us to seek Him out and receive our healing. I am glad I sought Him out last night. My mind and paranoid thoughts were in charge until I relinquished control to Jesus. Lesson learned, I hope it sticks this time.
In this time, I believe people are holding in their problems, anxiety, depressed thoughts because so much is happening in the world. Some of us are believing what we are going through is petty. That it isn’t major compared to others losing their lives. However, I believe we all should express what we are going through freely without fear of what other people will think of us. We all have different levels of issues and problems. All of these situations are important to the individual that is dealing with it. We shouldn’t make them feel less than. We are in this together!
Anything that’s creating fear, anxiety, depression or confusion needs to be discussed and released. I pray each of you has someone that you feel comfortable to speak to in this time about your honest thoughts, feelings, and emotions during this time. I pray for everyone’s mental health to be stable and truly healthy when we come through this season. Jesus is a great listener. He has also assigned some wonderful people to be great listeners also. He did this because He doesn’t want us to be alone. Jesus knows we need community. Once again and I mean this every time I say it, I love you, guys. Please be safe. Use the common sense that God gave each and every one of us. Stay in the word. Stay prayed up.
In 2014 & 2015, I had quite a few apocalyptic dreams. I had dreams of a plane crashing down and destroying a church. I remember a dream about me driving with my family on Lavista Rd and huge fireballs were falling from the sky. The very worst dream was that we were being attacked and my children were at school. Greg was going to school in Chamblee and Angelia was going to school in Scottdale. In the dream, I had to choose who to pick up 1st. I could never pick. It was the worse dream ever. I would just stand in the dream and cry.
In this time of quarantine, God made sure my silver lining was clear. I didn’t have to choose between my kids. Both of them are still living with me and at home. It is a blessing!!! I know God is still in the midst during these crazy times. I just have to make sure I keep in close contact with Him and everything is going to be alright.
““God is mighty, but he does not despise anyone! He is mighty in both power and understanding. He does not let the wicked live but gives justice to the afflicted. He never takes his eyes off the innocent, but he sets them on thrones with kings and exalts them forever. If they are bound in chains and caught up in a web of trouble, he shows them the reason. He shows them their sins of pride. He gets their attention and commands that they turn from evil. “If they listen and obey God, they will be blessed with prosperity throughout their lives. All their years will be pleasant. But if they refuse to listen to him, they will cross over the river of death, dying from lack of understanding. For the godless are full of resentment. Even when he punishes them, they refuse to cry out to him for help. They die when they are young, after wasting their lives in immoral living. But by means of their suffering, he rescues those who suffer. For he gets their attention through adversity. “God is leading you away from danger, Job, to a place free from distress. He is setting your table with the best food. But you are obsessed with whether the godless will be judged. Don’t worry, judgment and justice will be upheld. But watch out, or you may be seduced by wealth. Don’t let yourself be bribed into sin. Could all your wealth or all your mighty efforts keep you from distress? Do not long for the cover of night, for that is when people will be destroyed. Be on guard! Turn back from evil, for God sent this suffering to keep you from a life of evil.” Job 36:5-21 NLT
Depression & anxiety is real. I allowed them to control me for the past couple of years. Control me to the point that I have gained more weight than I have ever had before. Control me to the point that I pushed everyone away. Control me to the point that I really didn’t love myself.
Jesus had to remind me today who I am in Him. He has been telling me, all this time, but I haven’t paid attention to Him. I haven’t been listening. I have let confusion into my mind, soul, & spirit. I’ve been worrying about the lies that humans have been saying about me. I end that TODAY. I am allowing God to take over in my life. I know who I was created to be. I know that I am not a person that would do any of these acts that I have been accused of doing. I know the lies are not stronger than THE TRUTH!!! I know who I am in Jesus. My family, loved ones & friends know who I am, also. I actually was worried about the opinions of people I don’t even know. How ridiculous is that?
I allowed the lies and actions of others to control my emotions and thoughts. I became angry at everyone. I gave power to the enemy and his minions. NOT ANYMORE!!!
I am giving my free will over to God. I am here to serve Him, not myself. I refuse to be a self – serving person any longer. I love who God made in me. I am not going to allowing anyone else opinion trump God’s, my husband’s, my family or friends’ opinion of me. I am especially not going to let their opinion of me, have more power over my life than my personal opinion concerning me.